Photo of Professionals at McCoy Fatula, APC
Photo of Professionals at McCoy Fatula, APC

Understanding the contemplative phase before divorce

On Behalf of | Oct 27, 2016 | Divorce

Many have written on various stages of adjustment in life, such as the grieving process after a loved one’s death. It seems there are certain life events that evoke similar emotions in many people who experience them, along with different phases that appear to be common under certain circumstances, such as divorce. Those considering divorce are often said to enter a contemplative phase just before making their final decisions.

For many divorcing in California and elsewhere, there is a period often referred to as “the calm before the storm,” which is when a spouse is thinking about whether to file for divorce. Some people find themselves changing their minds and deciding to remain married. Surprisingly, wanting to leave the option open appears to be part of what leads to the quiet stage. In fact, many spouses seem extra nice during this phase, not wanting to upset their husbands or wives in case they do decide to stay married.

Because of the calm and quiet period, if a person does ultimately file for divorce, his or her spouse may be left in a temporary state of shock. The request may come as a surprise since everything seemed to be going so well. Other common phases of divorce come after the shock. These may include, denial, anger, depression and, finally, acceptance.

Many include the rebuilding phase as part of the divorce process. This phase can actually begin during divorce proceedings, as one thinks ahead to immediate and long-term goals for oneself and any children involved. There is a strong support system available in California to assist those in this phase. By discussing things with an experienced family law attorney, a person can obtain much-needed guidance in order to develop a divorce plan that helps prepare for as positive a future as possible.

Source: The Huffington Post, “Beware Of The Calm Before The Stormy 7 Stages Of Divorce“, Jamie Williamson, Oct. 25, 2016

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