In many ways life after a divorce is a chance to set the reset button on your life, but if you have kids in tow things can get a bit complicated. Many divorce agreements set geographical parameters on where a custodial parent can live. The idea is that it is most beneficial for kids to have regular input from both of their parents. While this is often true, each individual parent also needs to be able to move their own lives forward, and often opportunities present themselves outside the original parameters set by the court.
Like many others in California, you probably consider raising your children one of your greatest achievements. Also like most parents, even though times are not always easy, you try to overcome any obstacles that arise and always want what's best for your kids. If you're divorced, it's likely you and your former spouse have faced a challenge or two along the way with regard to developing and carrying out a new parenting plan.
When you got married and began a life with your new spouse in California, you likely could never envision that you'd one day be involved in a contentious child custody battle with that same person. The reality that not all marriages last a lifetime may have come as a shock to you when it was your own marriage headed for divorce. Whether you have one, three or more children, you are no doubt like most parents who only want what's best for them.
At the time of your divorce, you and your ex-spouse likely came to agreeable terms for child support. However, because circumstances can change throughout your life, terms that were once feasible to handle may become more difficult to abide by. If your child support agreement becomes a hindrance that seriously impacts your life, you may wish to consider seeking changes to your agreement.
Divorce can sometimes be difficult for every member of a family, and it can often have a particularly profound impact on the children. For this reason, it is important to resolve child custody disputes in a timely manner and seek a final arrangement that is workable and practical.
Life can be difficult after divorce, and things get even messier when things change and one or both parties has to ask for a modification to a child support agreement. California law looks at a number of potential changes in circumstances that can lead to an increase or decrease in child support payments, and parents have the option of working out a new agreement on their own that is signed by a judge, or going back to court. It is important that the party seeking the change do so officially, rather than based on just the word of the other parent. Verbal agreements are not legally binding in custody payment cases if one party changes his or her mind down the road.
You may have noticed that there's a lot of talk about cooperation and negotiation when you are going through a divorce. You hear it from lawyers, mediators, judges, teachers, family members, and well-meaning friends who have been there. It probably feels pretty contradictory right now, doesn't it? You may be thinking "If we were able to cooperate, we wouldn't be getting a divorce." Your frustration is understandable. Unfortunately, it doesn't change the fact that negotiating and cooperating with one another is the most effective way to get through your divorce. This is especially true when there are children involved.
Divorce is a messy and challenging time. Getting the paperwork done, the assets divided and custody schedules arranged is a Herculean feat you don't ever wish to repeat. Life, though, keeps on chugging down the tracks. Yesterday's custody arrangement may not work tomorrow. Maybe you need a new home and job after the divorce, maybe your current home is too expensive or maybe you need the support network of your extended family back home.
Raising a child is expensive. Room, board, clothing, medical expenses and college are costly all on their own. But then there are all those additional expenses that add up when your child is active in sports, clubs, academia and other interests. These expenditures are already quite challenging when you and your spouse are working together to pay them. But, a divorce can really impact how these expenses are met.
Over the summer you and your spouse have come to the conclusion that a separation and divorce is best for the family. Your extended family knows about this decision as well as some close friends. But now with school starting soon, you are worried about what this means for your child. Will they be embarrassed and teased by their friends? How will the teachers react? Should you let them know about your situation now? These are all valid worries and concerns as you prepare for back to school season.