McCoy Fatula, APCMcCoy
Fatula
Located in Roseville, CA
916-945-2780

How's your child doing emotionally since your divorce?

Most California parents want what's best for their children, even if it means they sometimes must make decisions that don't make their children particularly happy. If you're a parent who recently divorced, you likely have first-hand experience with this type of situation. Still, like other parents, you hate to see your child suffer, and you might be worried whether he or she is adapting to your new lifestyle in a healthy manner.

There are several things you can do to help your child navigate the divorce process and roller-coaster of emotions that often accompany such circumstances. First and foremost, remember you're not alone, as many other parents in this state and across the nation have trod similar paths. If you know where to look, it's usually possible to find a support network that can help you address any problematic issue that arises.

In the meantime, these things may help you help your child

The court is typically of the opinion that children of divorce fare best when provided ample time with both parents. Gone are the days when full custody is automatically awarded to a mother; in fact, many parents are able to negotiate shared custody arrangements, thus giving children plenty of time to forge new memories and maintain active, healthy relationships with both parents. Following are ideas to keep in mind as you navigate the process:

  • Children need to know their parents love them. Divorce can be quite unsettling, especially for younger children. Parents' highly charged emotions may inadvertently cause children to feel lonely or unloved. Reminding your son or daughter that your love is constant and unconditional may help propel him or her toward a new and happy future.
  • If your child gets upset because your former spouse keeps canceling planned visits or doesn't follow through on other agreed-upon custody and visitation terms, it's generally best to allow your child to express honest emotions, and then do your best to help resolve the issue.
  • Always have a plan B in mind, just in case things don't go according to plan with the other parent.
  • Compromise and cooperation are key factors to successful post-divorce parenting plans.
  • It is best to keep disagreements between adults. In short, try never to speak negatively of your former spouse to your child or argue with him or her in your child's presence.
  • If problems arise that you are unable to resolve, know where to turn for help.

Getting divorced does not necessarily mean you are a bad parent. There are many California parents who can share stories regarding how they helped their children handle their emotions and work their ways through various challenges in the aftermath of divorce. Many people choose to address their problems in court by asking experienced family law attorneys to advocate in their best interests.

If you're concerned about a particular child custody or visitation issue and how it's affecting your child, you can request a meeting with a family law attorney to explore all options available that may lead to a swift and amicable solution to your problem.

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